Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If You Are Jeff Genyk's New Personal Assistant, Please Read This

Being the personal assistant of Eastern Michigan's football coach may seem like anybody's dream job, but it's not all Skittles and Pepsi--this is hard work! If you're going to be the personal assistant that Jeff wants you to be, you'll need to remember a few things:

*Always check Monster.com and Craig's List for coaching openings. You never know when the guy at Colorado State is gonna get canned.

*Peruse the internet looking for Eastern Michigan message boards. (Note: You may need to create some.)

*If the coffee isn't hot enough to scald, prepare to wear it.

*If Mrs. Genyk calls (either wife or mother), Jeff is at practice or on the phone.

*Never sign for packages; only Jeff signs for packages--so don't even think about it.

*Jeff has OCD, so now you got it too.

*Make sure your wallet is still in your pocket at all times.

*While Jeff is a casual guy, jeans are not permitted in his presence. In fact, denim of all kinds is a no no.

*Eye contact is fine, but you must lose all staring contests.

*Messages must be returned by end of business day, unless intoxicated.

*Make sure your wallet is still in your pocket at all times.

*If he asks, the coolest animal is the leopard.

*If somebody--anybody--from the media calls, FIND JEFF!

If you can do these things, then you really shouldn't have a problem. And Ypsilanti can be beautiful sometimes during the year. Good luck at your new job!

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