Showing posts with label Notre Dame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Notre Dame. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Episode Guide for Charlie Weis' 2006 NBC Cartoon 'Weis Guys'


Weis Guys was a cartoon in which Charlie Weis and a team of traveling skateboarding kids encounter adventures and solve mysteries throughout the country. The cast of characters included Weis; Johnny (an orphan with confidence issues); Sam (a punky, streetwise tomboy); Frankie (a misunderstood bully) and Robot (a talking robot). The series was canceled after only one season and can currently only be seen on Japan's version of Cartoon Network "Toon In Tokyo".


Episode One: "The Ghost of Mt. Calamari"
While on the road in Florida, the team stops at a seafood restaurant. As they enter the restaurant, the patrons all run out in a panic, screaming that there is a ghost inside the restaurant. Charlie and his team enter without apology and Charlie immediately deduces that the "ghost" is just a film projection from rival seafood restauranteur Shiko Nakamuro. The rest of the episode has Charlie berating Robot for slow math computing.


Episode Two: "The Haunted Castle"
While at an international skateboarding competition in Romania, the team visits an old castle. Sam is in the bathroom when she hears what sounds like a ghost. Sam contacts Robot to come and check it out and according to Robot's heat scan, there is somebody in the other stall. The two then call for Charlie, and when he hears what Sam thought was a ghost, he correctly deduces that it's not a ghost at all, but rather a sleeping possum. He then opens the door to show them the possum and point out how stupid they were. The rest of the episode is Charlie talking about how the possum is the only North American marsupial.


Episode Three: "Terror Circus"
Seeking respite from the grind of skateboarding, the team decides to take in the circus. While standing in line for concessions, the team hears a scream and Charlie runs to find out what happened. When Charlie finally gets to the room where the scream comes from, his team tells him that a ghost has robbed the treasurer and all of the ticket money has been stolen! Charlie takes the lockbox from the treasurer and berates him for having such an easy six number combination. He then gathers bystanders around the treasurer and asks the treasurer what a ghost is going to do with money. The treasurer is speechless and then Charlie throws the lockbox at the treasurer and shouts "Ghosts don't $#%!&*$ steal $%#@*&% money!"


Episode Four: "Dead Bang"
Murder! The team takes in a dinner play involving the solving of a fake murder. Charlie makes Robot stay outside because every seat costs money and since Robot can't eat, Charlie's not paying for him to just occupy space. The rest of the episode is Charlie shouting out during the play that the murderer is Nigel Portnoy.


Episode Five: "Ghost Ship"
While in Chicago at "Skate-a-Thon 2006", Johnny sees what he thinks is a ghost ship. Charlie shakes him and says not everything is about ghosts. Charlie then asks Johnny to leave the team. The final 19 minutes of the episode has Charlie giving an expletive-laced rant about how Robot is nothing but a "glorified &%#$@&^# can opener."


Episode Six: "The Old Witch and The Non-Existent Cell Tower"
While traveling to a Kansas skateboard show, the team's van breaks down and the team is forced to walk to a nearby farmhouse to make a phone call. Charlie knocks on the door and an old farmer answers. The farmer tells him that the only person in the area with a phone is "the old witch". Charlie gets directions to the old witch's house. The witch lets Charlie use her phone and he calls AAA. The rest of the episode is Charlie telling the guy from AAA how to fix the van.


Episode Seven: "Zombie Train"
On their way to a skateboarding expo in St. Louis, the team's Amtrak is overrun by zombies. Knowing that zombies eat brains, the team was obviously worried about the buffet of brains that Charlie would offer. While Charlie is sleeping, they decide to barricade him inside of his suite. Even though Charlie cannot get to his team, he tells them that the zombies aren't zombies, but rather they are heroin addicts. Charlie then has Robot break down his door.


Episode Eight: "The Final Chapter"
The last episode of Weis Guys is a two-parter. In the first part, Sam is kidnapped. Charlie yells at Frankie for letting Sam get kidnapped and Frankie is obviously distraught and runs away. With only one day before the US Skateboarding Open, Charlie has to get his team back together! Part two has Charlie calling former team member Johnny at home and telling Johnny that he knows that Johnny kidnapped Sam. Johnny admits to the crime and Sam is freed. Charlie then grabs Robot and they drive over to the old bridge where Charlie finds Frankie and he tells Frankie that he knew he'd find him at the bridge because Frankie would never have the guts to actually jump. Charlie then tells Robot that he's a non-necessity and is no longer wanted on the team. The series ends with Charlie and Frankie going to pick up Sam, undoubtedly on their way to winning the US Skateboarding Open the next day.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Getting To Know Notre Dame Frosh Quarterback Dayne Crist

Dayne Crist ... 6-5 ... 225 ... Sherman Oaks, CA

Selected to play in U.S. Army All-American Bowl in San Antonio ... one of six finalists for the 2008 U.S. Army Player of the Year Award ... certified Black Belt ... one of seven finalists for the Joe Montana Quarterback of the Year Award ... winner 2007 Reseda Kumite ... named to the Scout.com All-America second team ... one of five future Irish players placed on the EA Sports All-America third team ... has eleven kills to his credit - seven legitimate ... only player projected to play quarterback in college who was named to the Best in the West first team ... leader of group of area toughs known as "The Cobras" ... placed on all-Southern California team by Southern California Football Coaches Association and Orange County Register ... completed 57.8 percent of passes for 2,178 yards with 16 touchdowns and one interception in 10 games in 2007 ... Rivals.com ranked him the 25th-best prospect in the nation, second-best pro-style quarterback in the country and fourth-best recruit in California ... finished second in 1983 All Valley Karate Championship.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Top Five Sandy-Blonde Heisman Candidates For 2008

1. Todd Reesing, QB Kansas. I'm sure in a better light, Reesing's hair would be even blonder--but you cannot deny the sandiness.


2. James Laurinaitis, LB Ohio State. He would probably be at the top of the list had he not shaved his head. Still, as it stands, his hair has enough of a body of work to warrant this placement.


3. Curtis Painter, QB Purdue. All you need to know about the level of sandy-blonde goodness at the top of this list is the fact that despite sandy-blondeness covering the top, bottom and sides of Curtis Painter's head, he's only good enough for third.


4. Colt McCoy, QB Texas. He only makes this list because he'll be out in the sun all summer long and his sandyness will eventually gleam with yellow gold. If he had an aversion to the sun, however, he'd never even sniff this list.


5. Sam McGuffie, RB Michigan. In Rich Rodriguez's new offense, McGuffie will have plenty of time to stand on the sidelines soaking up rays as his team goes three and out for three and a half hours at a time. And that's during peak sun time.


Those who did not make the list, but were sort of close...but not really.


Stephen McGee, QB Texas A&M. You don't get a real sandy-blonde with highlights. Lack integrity much, Stephen?


Drew Weatherford, QB Florida State. Yeah, everything about Weatherford's floppy skull-tassles screams "sandy-blonde goodness", but you still gotta be able to play. Sorry, Drew.


Jevan Snead, QB Ole Miss. Waaaaay too Ginger-y.


Jimmy Clausen, QB Notre Dame. This list is for "Sandy-Blondes", not "Dandy-Blondes".


Jake Christensen, QB Iowa. Yes, you probably have the epitome of "sandy-blonde goodness", but you're struggling to beat out Ricky Stanzi. I don't care if your first name is "Sandy", you're middle name is "Blonde" and your last name is "Goodness"--you're not making this list if you can't beat out Ricky Freaking Stanzi!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Some New Slogans Unveiled


Throwing is just as good as winning when you suck.





Now with 70% less decided schematic advantage.




Play like you're interested today.




Those who stay will be lonely.





Participate!




Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.