Now that that mean old coach Les Miles has unprovokingly dismissed you, you may be wondering what is out there for you. In a word, "plenty".Here are just a few things that you may want to think about...
1. Transfer to Appalachian State, win the starting job and play against LSU in your season opener. Analysis: This would allow your former teammates who can't stand you to kill you. Verdict: Bad decision.
2. Join Greenpeace and beat up people at sea. Analysis: The sea never gives up its dead. Verdict: Good decision for a bad person; Bad decision for a good person; Okay decision for a Texan.
3. Become an Air Marshal. Analysis: The lure of packing heat may be too hard to pass up, but those hoity-toity government types tend to frown upon applicants with existing FBI files. Verdict: Out of reach due to lousy red tape.
4. Record that album you've been thinking about. Analysis: Studio time is expensive, but you've built up a nest egg. Your skills on the mic are extraordinary. Verdict: Maybe. But keep in mind, "extraordinary" only means "very, very, very ordinary".
5. Travel. You've been telling yourself that you want to get away. So do it! Analysis: Without a team to back you, there's no getting around the "Do Not Fly" list. It would have to be vacation by car. But you must love to drive since you have four cars. However, it would be hard to choose between driving the Range Rover and the Escalade. And let's not even get into gas prices. And you can't really make a living just driving around unless you're a cabbie. Verdict: No go.
6. Cabbie. You won't be bogged down in an office or tied to a desk. Analysis: You love to drive and hate making decisions about what to drive. As a cabbie, your decision is already made! And you'll get to pack heat! Sure, you'll have to keep your gun out of site, but isn't that really part of the fun? Verdict: This avenue has everything you could possibly want--and tips!
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